Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reflect Mubarak Ibrahim-Audu — it’s genuinely appreciated my friend.
You sound like a very sincere and genuine individual.
If this topic is something that you’d really like to dive into more for personal development, I highly recommend the book “The Assertiveness Workbook” by Randy J. Paterson.
Some additional material that you might find useful:
“It takes some time and practice to become more assertive. People will push back initially. They’re used to the old you. That’s okay…you can’t change their behavior, only yours…But once you start being more comfortable speaking up, it doesn’t just mean more conflict. It can actually mean wonderful things, too…: passive people don’t just avoid conflict. They often avoid saying a lot of good stuff too…As you become more assertive, you’ll be a more encouraging, supportive, friend, partner, employee or co-worker. And that’s something that makes life better for everyone…
· Assertiveness is about controlling your own behavior, not theirs. You always have a choice. And the consequences for resisting control by others are rarely as bad as you think.
· You can’t stop people from asking, but you can say no. Figure out the reasonable consequences of doing so. And then decide. Use the “broken record technique” with aggressives.
· People aren’t psychic. If you want something, ask. Figure out what you want. Make it reasonable and fair. Word it as a request. If they say no, that doesn’t mean they hate you.
· Symbolic Value is often what makes confrontation hard. It’s usually best to try to get people to change their behavior, not their personality.”
I hope you’re able to extract some practical takeaways from the above my friend… 🙏
